My grandpa was a Marine.

Those of you who know about Marines can understand why this has been one of the hardest past tenses for me to learn. In his life, I could say, "Grandpa was a South Dakotan, but now he's a Minnesotan [later, a Nebraskan]," or, "Grandpa was an engineer, but now he's retired." But I was taught to never, ever say "was a Marine." "Grandpa is a retired Marine," was the approved phrasing when he was still with us. Still a Marine. Not active duty. But still a Marine.

There are people who serve in the military and never, ever want to talk about it after. There are people who serve in the military and it takes over their lives, or ends them. Grandpa was able to walk a middle path. Being a Marine was important to him. The people with whom he served, the people he mentored and the people who were more equal comrades, were important to him. But never the only thing--a large part of who he was, not the whole. Some of that was in choices Grandpa made, and some of it was from luck, and I am grateful for both parts. There were guys who joined up when he did, guys who followed very similar career paths early on, who were frozen or shot or mentally destroyed or dozens of other gruesome fates, in Korea. And instead Grandpa got other postings and was in other places at those times. He served, but we got to keep him--we got to exist because of it, Mother and me, since she was born after the war. It wasn't until the last two years or so that it became clear to me how much of a stupid waste my grandpa thought the war there was, how badly organized and how devastating to the people he knew. I hope with some of the books I've inherited from him to understand more facets of this. I hope to learn.

But that's the stuff that you can learn from reading later. What I saw in him was the honor and integrity and decency and service he firmly believed were the ideals of the Corps, and how he integrated those things into his civilian life. I got to learn that from my grandpa's life, every step of the way. There was no pulling apart who Grandpa might have been without his service in the USMC. It was integrated with all the rest--as I said, not all of who he was, but permeating who he was.

A few people attending Grandpa's memorial service didn't know what the Marine Corps motto on the order of service meant. Our family put Semper Fi on the bulletins not just because Grandpa was a Marine, but because "always faithful" was so appropriate to who he was and how he lived. And that's what I've been thinking about on Veterans' Day, and it's a big part of what I want to honor this holiday.

On All Saints', I had a dream with Grandpa in it. Mostly it is mine privately. But I didn't say at the time, and I thought I would mention, that there was a bit where he kept trying to get us not to fuss, kept reassuring us that it would be fine, but we needed to stop fussing. Well. He always knew I wasn't very good at that. But I will keep working on it.

My mom sent me this quilt story...

It's sad, yet wonderful how strangers came forward to complete this woman's work.

http://community.adn.com/adn/node/145399

x-posted

sgtgwn called me tonight. She is going to be gone all night to a civil war round table in Burlington, IA and did not want to leave Sean alone. So I will be going up there tomorrow night and getting to spend the night with him. That will be great. We can work on homework and play some games. We have not done that in way too long. It will be good.

This means I needed to get packed for Crystal Ball tonight. I think that I have mostly accomplished that. The important stuff, read armor, lives in the car. So that is packed. I picked out the basic, but nice garb that newperspectives made me with the jaguar trim. It will be easy to dance in as I kick people on the dance floor. That is all ready to be taken to the car. I will do that over lunch tomorrow, then drive to Macomb and back home late. Turn around Friday after work and drive to Macomb again to get Sean then straight to talkisdead for pre Crystal Ball fun. Then at the Ball all day and very late into the night. Finally back to Macomb early afternoon as I have contact work to do Sunday evening in Macomb and then likely again on Tuesday night and one other night next week.

So lots of driving again. The Saturn passed 250,000 miles last weekend. I hope it has a few more. It is a very good car gwyndlyn.

I bet there are folks here who do not remember the Rialto (rec.org.sca) and even fewer when it was a very useful discussion community.

A number of problems -- and changes in use of the Internet, has pretty much left it a shell of its former self.

Then there's the EK List.

Criticism has been getting more and more strenuous over postings there. Even I, who needs to know everything, got out a couple of months ago.

But when there are things happening that are as nasty as have happened over the last week or so, driving the king to make a proclamation and more and more people to leave the list, it's hard to ignore it.

A number of us, by invitation, have been batting around ideas about what would need to happen to make it a vibrant, useful part of the East Kingdom again, rather than a place new folks are warned about and hard feelings sprout.

I have lots of ideas. I always do.

But what are your ideas?

If you were the tsar or tsarina (czar or czarina?) of the EK List and had total power to make any changes, what would you do?

1. So apparently something I said or did has made me one of "You people." I don't ever remember being one of "You people" before.

2. Signal-boost: My friend valr has three helms for sale, and he also does wicked cool woodworking.

3. If you know Duchess Mary Grace from Gleann Abhainn, Queen Brenwen asks that you send a note to queen@eastkingdom.org and let her know that. No, nothing is wrong.

4. Big cooking day. Brownies, pumpkin bread (with applesauce instead of oil, chicken-fried steak and chicken-fried pork (yes, I see the juxtaposition), and I also heated up some ravioli. Nom!

5. I find LJ to be fascinating sometimes in terms of what draws a lot of posts. There are certain days, like Veterans Day, that draw a lot of heartfelt postings. There are other days like that, too. Deaths, especially science fiction folks, beloved actors/actresses, politicians and others get a lot of posts. It is interesting to see who gets more posts than others. My LJ friends are also intensely interested in the political, even on the many groups I am on. As I am thinking about this, it seems as though I am seeing fewer and fewer memes here. Are people doing them on facebook instead?

6. From www.ktnv.com:

I do very much agree with this judge.

Despite objections from a number of parents, two controversial high school plays will go on.

Several parents of students at Green Valley High School took their objections to the plays "Laramie Project" and "Rent" all the way to the court system.

Tuesday, a judge ruled.

When Green Valley senior, Meagan Smith, is finished performing in the "Laramie Project" this weekend, she'll exit stage left, with the feeling she was in the right.

"I don't really know if it [the controversy] was necessary, but I'm a firm believer in expressing your opinion," says Megan.

"There are not grounds upon which I could grant injunctive relief in favor of the plaintiffs," says District Judge, David Wall.

Wall ruled the "Laramie Project," and also the play "Rent" will go on as scheduled.

Some parents had filed an injunction, trying to stop the performances because they have homosexual characters, some of whom have AIDS, and center around the theme of tolerance.

But Judge Wall ruled that it's a matter of choice.

"There's no showing of any mandatory participation by any student," says Wall.

7. I lost the photo for No. 7 somehow.

Perspective is a funny thing. Last year (heck, earlier this year) I was struggling to get between 250 and 500 words down a day. Of course, expectations and commitments were different then, but still, that seemed like a good pace.

Lately, I've been coming in at the 800 to 1000 words/day mark. So when, today, I called it quits at 500 (for various reasons), I was a bit disappointed. Until I remembered that, up until recently, this was pretty good. And that I was starting a new chapter, which required a conscious change not only in voice, but in narrative style (I am alternating between 1st and 3rd person every other chapter in this book). That can take a bit of mental nudging, which usually translates into staring at the screen and wandering the house for an hour or two. And I remembered that, hey, I lost the whole morning to car repair fiascos.

So, no, it's not the pace I am shooting for, but it's 500 more words than I had yesterday.

As I've said before, I'm trying to get as much done on Hawthorn Queen as I can before my edits come back from Penguin in December. That leaves (at minimum) 19 days, counting weekends. Depending on what the final word count comes in at, I am somewhere between



and



done. (Which is actually kind of scary, considering what I still have to do in the book...)

Not sure if I'll get there by the 30th, what with the kids having this Friday off, weekends, Thanksgiving and the like, but I' plan on getting close.

Because dread_exposted a wonderful video clip:

In Flanders Fields
By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD (1872-1918)
Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

If you ever served or if you serve now: Thank you!

1. We can haz new readerz. Every since the marnanel joule tracker went away, I have not been good at welcoming new folks.\

So, let's give a big, happy Liamverse welcome toknobhby, alisonpv, blaisepascal and miamstem!

If anyone else has climbed aboard lately, and I missed you, please chime in.

2. I had my to-do list done by 2 p.m., so I had a nice coffee and a couple of newspapers at the Rock Hill Bake House.

Did the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, put all the food away, put books away and brought most of the recycling out to the truck.

I also went grocery shopping, put all that stuff away, am making brownies and cleaned the toilet.

3. I missed Thanksgiving Day football already. I grew up in Westerly, and we played Stonington every year. You could get in excess of 5,000 or more there. One year, both teams went on to win state titles (Westerly in RI, Stonington in Conn.). ( covered the game for years for The Day and/or the Providence Journal. Because of life, I probably have not gotten to a game in five years or more. It was cool when I started seeing the sons of folks I went to high school with playing in the game. We will be in New Jersey, then Pennsylvania.

4. My nephew, my sister's oldest son, is apparently "wicked smaht" and is looking at some big-time and expensive schools. Decent kid. I hope he gets some scholarship money and gets to a great school.

5. I am actually doing some writing for work. I wrote an article on "How to get an e-mail address for your job hunt." for people who know little about the Internet. It's fast becoming a barrier for people. There are a lot of places that only take applications on the Internet.

6. My dad was a veteran. He served in London as a clerk typist. He was in a air-arid shelter when his office got bombed.

7. I do not know where my pictures of the cemetery at Normandy are. They were taken years ago.

Here's one from Jason's Travel Photography on flickr.



If you have been there, I know you have strong memories of it.

Last night we went home, vacuumed, and generally prepared for our guests. Who arrived around 6:30, and we began.

( Augury! )

Tonight, tomorrow, and Friday night we have no plans. Saturday is the TOC. Sunday will be a day of rest.

And so it shall be.

Oh, it's you. Don't worry. You can stay. I like you fine. It's that other guy, you know the one, if you see him lingering around here, you can tell him to get the hell off my lawn.

...Oh, who am I kidding? You can both stay. The truth is, I write in my LJ because I want it read. I want people to be moved by my words enough to leave a comment. I want people to look at my entries and go, "Man, that kandigurl is one clever lady, I think I'd like to tell her exactly how brilliant she is! What a lucky thing that there's a "Leave a Comment" button right at the bottom of this post!"

Yup. I'm a comment whore. Guilty as charged. I'm loving the crazy amounts of comments I'm getting from these LJ Idol posts. Makes my comment whorish heart sing song upon song of the praises of LJ. I mean, I'm probably taking a risk this week by not writing about the exciting world of sexual ethics, but you know what? My mom reads this. So I'm not going there. Not this entry, anyway.

I have had this sucker since 2001 and I have never, not once, in my entire span here on LJ, considered going Friends Only. I never do friends cuts. I don't have a troll hiding under my posts waiting to eat up innocent passers-by who leave comments. Rather, I have Frank the goat on my side ready to kick the shit out of any trolls that may wander in. (I've had 'em. I blocked 'em.)

The truth is two-fold. Number one, the obvious one, the one I've already stated, is that I love the attention. I love writing posts that get read and commented on. That feeling that my inner dialogue is good enough that someone else out there feels compelled to take a few seconds out of their life typing up a response.

But the second part of it? That's the tricky part. The part I try to ignore, but is certainly there. The idea that really and truly, my posts aren't interesting enough for anyone to give a crap. That I'm not interesting enough for anyone to give a crap. I've got friends (both on LJ and in real life) who simply exude awesome, who garner hundreds of friends without really trying. It's like people just find them, friend them, and stick around to watch the awesome.

Me? I'm a faker. I write these posts in the hopes that you'll see past the laziness, the slob, the procrastinator, the endlessly tardy, the embarrassingly forgetful, and find something different. Something awesome. Something that makes you want to stick around. Because I want you to stick around, even during the times when I'm not so awesome. Even if I don't know you. Even if we've only met because you sent some pixels through the Internet and I read them here on the other side.

That's why I'll never hang a lock on this door. I need that bridge to other lives, to other people, to feel like I'm good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. I bet I'm not the only one, either. Hell, why else are we participating in this contest? We want people to take the time to read. We want people to care. We want people to comment.

So pull up a seat, friend! Hang out a while! Go back and read old entries if you want to! I'm really an interesting person to know, I swear it, just let my LJ show you...

1. The tea rule: when markgritter is out of town, you must remember to make your own afternoon tea. This is a good rule.

2. The miso rule: in months when you would by default wear socks, you must have something warm with at least one and preferably two meals a day. This, too, is a good rule.

3. The salad rule: no more than one meal a day can be solely composed of cold raw vegetables, or you will wake up in the middle of the night cold and hungry. (Clarification: adding cold nuts to the cold raw vegetables is only enough for ONE meal a day. NOT TWO.) This is a very, very good rule. See how much better tonight is for these rules than yesterday was without them? Yah. Good. Remember that.

4. You can doubt yourself when you're away from the computer. Doubt yourself in the shower, doubt yourself propped up next to the stove, doubt yourself riding in the car, whatever you need to do. Not required but permitted from time to time. But at the computer you write.

5. It turns out that being funny in a book does not make it easier, as a writer, to deal with the incredibly emotionally difficult plot points you have written into it, YOU BLITHERING MORON. But it turns out not to be physically possible just yet to go back in time and shake yourself by the shoulders for plotting it that way before you knew how this year would be. And it will be better this way. It really will. But--gee, huh, why might you be avoiding writing that chapter, self? What an incomprehensible behavior! Wholly inexplicable by any means except LOGIC AND DEDUCTIVE REASONING.

Sheesh, some monkeys.

Somehow this did not post on Sunday...

At All Souls this past weekend there was a great occurence. Once again marching across the field was Duncan the Monster! He and Mei Li along with baby Max came out to the event! I was marshal for Duncan'a reauthorization bout. Talk about mindless. He did not forget how to fight, duh, nor did he forget that this is a field of honor. Duncan also handed me one of my two defeats in the challenge tourney. I thought he would be rustier, but nope. Got me with a great face thrust from about six inches away from me. He loves to crawl up you. Well done!

Mei Li told me she intends to be back in armor soon as well. As it was she was her fun self and a joy to see again.

Max is an adorable little thing. With those parents though, I am not sure what will come out :)

Welcome back, you have been missed!

29 men lost on Lake Superior. RIP Fitz.

From Casey Seiler on the Albany Times Union's "Capitol Confidential" blog:

Gov. David Paterson just announced in a Red Room news conference that an agreement has been reached that assures that the gay marriage bill will be debated and voted on in the Senate “at a date not certain between now and the end of the year.”

Paterson was joined at the podium by the measure’s principal backer, Sen. Tom Duane, as well as Sens. Jeff Klein, Eric Schneiderman and Eric Adams, plus Empire State Pride Agenda Executive Director Alan Van Capelle.

“This is a stunning and very happy development in this process,” said the governor.

Somewhat significant in their absence, however, were any of the Democratic conference’s three leaders: Conference Leader John Sampson, Temporary President Malcolm Smith and Majority Leader Pedro Espada. Sampson and Smith were part of the meeting where the agreement was hammered out, Paterson said, but they wanted to take the matter to their conference rather than attend the press conference.

Paterson said he would continue to place marriage equality on the agenda of any special session he calls, including those slated for Monday and Tuesday.

“I’m very happy with the outcome of our discussion, and as you know if I’m not happy you know it,” said Duane.

Hi, I am the new shire chatelaine and chronicler.

Have a nice day.

"I TOLD you I was sick!"

Who would I say it to, my doctor.